| | | Even the most beautiful [r o s e s] ..

I hate making posts like this, it bums everyone out. But here it goes anyways.

I hate the fact that Erin just plays around with ekiM whenever Brayden breaks up with her. It makes me so depressed. I care more for him than I do anyone else in this entire world. All I want is for him to be happy, whether it be with her or anyone else who would treat him right. But before he can be happy with her, she needs to go to a nut house for awhile and stop being a super skank.

Speaking of which, he writes in his journal that he thinks no one understands why he keeps going back to her. I can understand why he thinks that. Everyone says he's stupid for doing it time and time again, of course they would, it's common sense that after God knows how many times she's broken his heart that going back -again- would be really stupid. But sometimes you just can't help who you love. The only time I've seen him -truly- happy was when he was with her. And I can't give a completely unbiased opinion about her, given what our relationship status is at the moment...*Nonexistant*.. But damnit she needs to come to her senses and realize she's never going to find anyone who loves her as much as he does. With everything that he's been through, he still loves her as much as he did when he was still with her.

Fuck... At the risk of sounding really conceited, I think that I am the most selfless person I know. After all, the worst way to love someone is to love them, and have to watch them love someone else...

Pretty self explanatory if you ask me.

.:Luci:.

ekiM is not mad at me... He leaves for long beach tomorrow, and wont be back until the...5th I think? I got back from his house like...an hour ago.

I needs ta finds me somes m-1000s..Or m-800s, I'd be happy with those. Man...The 4th kinda crept up on me this year. Haven't even bought any fireworks yet. I'll probably run over to Suquamish tomorrow or the next day to get some from the reservation..They're better, and cheaper ^_~ .

Anywoot, adios.

<|:Luci:|>

I'm trying to talk to ekiM now... I hope he wants to talk to me...And I -really- hope he's not mad at me. I could understand why he would be.. Running off in the middle of the night and not talking to him for about 2 and 1/2 weeks.. And it really had nothing to do with him, honestly. I had a weird moment and needed to go home. I've been completely distracted, with my dad and everything, and I just... Haven't talked to him. I hate feeling like a bad friend.

It feels like I've lost him. This has only happened one other time, with the whole Michael B. thing. I truly felt as if I was going to die, and I was the cause, me and my stupid "not listening because I think I'm right" shit. Now I think I'm fucking up again, and I don't think I could stand losing him as a friend.

Everything's so messed up in my mind.. When really it's so fucking simple! A friendship totally thrown askew over a split second decision that -I- made.

I'm the biggest fucking antagonist I know.

Maybe if he talks to me, I'll ask him to come with me to get my stereo put in?...